I have to admit something. I was born with a rebellious spirit. Really, I was…and…it didn’t go away just because I got older. I am the firstborn. I have two younger brothers…and I wanted a sister or nothing at all. They could have those boys back!!! I never let my parents, or my brothers forget that I wanted a sister. It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter how much I whined or complained or made everyone miserable, I still had brothers.
When Mom said, “Go help your brother,” you KNOW what was going on in my mind. My rebellious spirit put words in my head that did not need to come out of my mouth. If they broke something, I got in trouble. If they cried, I got yelled at. Can you believe I still remember that stuff? It really doesn’t matter anymore. We are all grown-ups with families of our own. But still, Mom said help and I helped.
I had times that I didn’t want to do the chore list that my mom and dad left for me to do, especially in the summer. Why didn’t I get to be lazy in the summer? I just got out of school and now I have a massive chore list. I got old enough to get my permit and then driver’s license. I couldn’t wait to get a car and a job and, and FREEDOM.
Somehow things never worked out the way I planned. I was 18 before I got that job and I shared my mom’s car. I was 21 before I had a car of my own with all the bills that go with it. Hmmm. Why wasn’t my life working out like I thought it should? Why were my parents putting all these restrictions on my FREEDOM?
Hebrews 12:11 says, “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”
I looked up the definition of DISCIPLINE and it says this: discipline n. Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.
So, my parents wanted me to grow up with a specific character that reflected good moral and mental behaviors???? Who’d a thunk it??? When I began thinking about raising my own daughters, I wanted to go even one step further and make sure they knew from Day 1 what and why I wanted them to do the things I asked them to do. I wanted to be the kind of mom they could look up to. A mom they could talk to and ask questions of. I wanted to always point them back to God and the Scriptures.
My favorite guide for raising my daughters is found in Deuteronomy 6:7-9. It says, “Repeat them (laws, traditions, scriptures) again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. 8 Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” There is no question that my girls (or their friends) can’t ask me. I will answer every question as honestly and biblically as I possibly can.
With this in mind, you know I raised perfect daughters with perfect lives and we all lived “Happily Ever After,” right? I wish that were the truth, sort of. The thing about being human is that we are all born with a rebellious nature. It takes discipline to overcome our natural inclinations. To develop discipline, we have to experience success and failures.
As a mom with high hopes for my girls, it was very painful to allow them the freedom to choose their own behaviors and consequences. Because I love them with my whole heart, I allowed them to freely choose. I now could only pray for them as they made their way through the life God has given them. Do you see the way God chooses to love each of us? He gives us the freewill to make decisions for ourselves. Can you think of a time these lessons of discipline were true for you and your family? Share them with me, please. I need to know I am not alone.